To say it was a shock would be an under statement I was devastated, terrified, angry, lonely, frustrated, depressed, anxious and in total despair. I was about to lose my breast at the point of diagnosisI just wanted to get rid of it take my breast off get rid of my cancer and everything will be fine and from a medical point of view every thing was fine but from a psychological point of view everything was far from fine.

All of a sudden I felt that my life had changed but no body else’s had I didn’t know how to deal with my cancer I didn’t know how I wanted other people to deal with my cancer Would I survive this? How long did I have left? Were my consultants telling me the truth? I could write a book on the vicious cycle of emotions that I have gone through and how one fear fed of another and how attitudes and behaviour of others impacted on my recovery. But 4 years on I am well and although I had many dark tearful fearful days I can share some of the things that helped me to recover and to deal with all the fears isolation loneliness and despair.

I love my breakfast for me this is my time and every morning at breakfast for about 3 years I cried into my tea-cup. This was my time when I allowed myself to feel sorry for me when I grieved for the loss of my breast when I vented my anger at the injustice of my altered body image when I allowed myself to be grateful that I had lived to fight another day and when I wiped my tears and battled on .Now I realise that one of my biggest mistakes was not telling the people around me how I was feeling often I would put on this big brave front and pretend everything was fine because in a way I felt I had to be strong for every one else and I often gave the impression I was coping with my cancer but inwardly I was falling to pieces sometimes talking is the best medicine but if we don’t tell people how we are really feeling then it can be difficult for them to know how to help.

Asking for help can be hard especially if you have always been an independent person but it is a small price to pay for the support and love that others will be only too willing to give at the same time it is important to realise that not every-one will know what to do or what to say so talking about your illness is really important. Use your health care team, they are trained and are very willing to support and help you through your cancer journey.

Think positive be positive, give yourself permission to be selfish and to think about you how am I going to deal with my cancer? How do I want to deal with my cancer? Who do I want to accompany me on this journey? Support comes in many ways and from many different places some of the ways to get support are

Find a really good friend one that you can phone / contact at any time who will allow you to be yourself in that particular time in that place, There are many different organisations and support groups a good way to find one that is right for you is to use this website where you will find a variety of information, support, useful links and other positive information and support.

No one ever said a cancer diagnosis is an easy journey but it is a journey and that journey for some more than others can be an especially difficult hard journey your cancer journey is a unique experience for you but there are others who can make that journey with you if you choose to let them accompany you we do not have to go it lone. It is worth remembering that the people in your world who love you are finding it difficult too and sometimes people do not behave in a way that we expect them too but love them anyway and allow them to cope and adjust at their own pace and in their own time.

I realise now 4 years on that I had just been given the gift of a life changing experience but no one had given me instructions on how to manage this gift. I call it a gift and for some of you who may be in your early diagnosis this will be hard to understand but for me what could have been a negative life changing experience has turned out to be the most positive life changing experience that I would never have believed possible. I did not ask for my cancer and I certainly did not want it but today I can truthfully say I would not change my experience for anything. Yes many times I wake up in the morning and think I would like to forget I ever had cancer but with so many people being diagnosed and all the publicity that cancer gets it can be very difficult to forget. But what we can do is support each other, share our experiences and stay positive.

Madeleine Mulgrew

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Ask the hospital staff how long you may be expected to wait for results, and remember that asking questions about the tests can help you to feel more in control. You can also contact your local Patient Advice and Liaison Service (PALS), for details of the length of time you can expect to wait.

It can take courage to go to your GP to have symptoms checked out and going for tests can be a worrying time as you wait for results. You may have more than one type of test, depending on the part of the body being investigated and the most common tests are listed on our Cancerbackup website. Be sure to ask as many questions as you want, and don’t be afraid to ask again if you’re not fully clear on the answers. Asking questions [PDF, 32kb] can help you to get important information about any tests for which you have been referred.

If you need extra support at this difficult time, there are people and organisations who you can talk to even before it is confirmed whether or not you have cancer. Call Cancerline on freephone 0808 808 2020 (Mon – Fri 9am – 9pm) to answer any questions you may have.

Being aware of your own body and your general health will help you to notice any changes that might be early symptoms of cancer. Many cancers can be treated and cured; the earlier the better.

There is no clear-cut list of symptoms, as the symptoms vary for different kinds of cancer. You can read about the most common ones on our Cancerbackup site. If you are concerned about symptoms, ask for advice from your family doctor or the nurse in your local health centre.

The organs and tissues of the body are made up of cells. As cells age, there is a constant process of cells dying and being replaced by new cells. This is usually an orderly process, but if too many new cells are created they form a tumour. Some tumours are not cancerous (benign) and may not need treatment, but malignant tumours (cancers) can spread.

During our lifetimes, one in every three of us will be diagnosed with cancer, but cancer is rare in children and young people. Two-thirds of people diagnosed with cancer are aged over 65 years. Many people are cured of cancer. If a cure is not possible, many people with cancer can live for a long time if they have effective treatment. There are over 200 types of cancer, and we have  information on the 50 most common types.

Find out about the main types of cancer or get further information about cancer.

Cancer is not a single disease with a single cause or type of treatment. All cancers involve abnormal growth of cells, and this section will help explain what happens before a cancer diagnosis.

4th March 2011

Information on family support will be updated shortly, please return again soon.

Coping with cancer

Most people feel overwhelmed when they are told that they have cancer. A diagnosis of cancer often provokes intense feelings, including loss of control, fear, anger, guilt, depression, anxiety and loneliness. These emotions are part of the process that many people go through in dealing with their illness.

After being diagnosed you might be very keen to find out as much as possible about your cancer and the urge to get the information quickly can be overwhelming. Talking through your situation can help you identify the questions you will want to ask your local medical team, and you can get more in-depth information on the Cancerbackup site as a good starting off point. Finding out more about your illness can help you to feel more in control of your situation.

As you start to live with cancer it helps to try to take ‘one step at a time’, and to set small achievable goals. This can encourage you to feel that there are still some things that remain within your control.

Share your worries and concerns

Talking about cancer can be the first step towards dealing with it and can help to relieve some of the anxiety. For some people, discussing their worries and fears with the people closest to them can be difficult, as they worry that they may become a burden. Others may be concerned about the impact a diagnosis of cancer may have on their relationships. For more information on talking to your partner about cancer, visit the Cancerbackup site.

If you don’t feel ready to discuss your illness with a friend or relative there are many other ways to talk. It might be a good time to telephone a support and information helpline or visit your local information and support service. Contacting a cancer self help and support group, and talking to someone who has been through the same experience can also be supportive. Or you could talk, or just listen, to other people affected by cancer in one of many online communities.

Adjusting to living with your diagnosis, and facing some of the emotions that you have, will help you through this difficult time. There are often many changes to be made and you may feel grief as a result of these changes, but there is help available for you and your family and friends.

Each therapy is provided by a fully qualified therapist who has undergone additional training in order to work with cancer patients. Cancer Choices currently offer four free sessions of complementary therapy to each client, covering reflexology, aromatherapy and massage.

An appointment can only be made by contacting the Cancer Choices office. We also request that clients inform their GP of the appointments by way of a GP referral letter which is provided from our office.

Clients are asked to provide early notice when an appointment is being cancelled in order to allow that slot to be allocated to another person.